…Sau nu

Cat esti tanar, treci prin lucruri. Multe, putine, depinde doar de tine.

Esti tentat – sau nu – sa investesti in tine. Sau in scoala. Sau in prieteni. Sau in distractie.

Vrei sa faci – sau nu – parte din ceva mare.

Vrei sa-ti oferi timpul si energia, mintea si sufletul cuiva sau unui lucru care merita atentia ta. Sau nu.

Anii trec si, daca ai fost atent, te-ai umplut de experiente si idei si oameni si amintiri. Din ele, o sa poti fi capabil – sau nu – sa selectezi drumuri viitoare.

E absolut necesar sa stii sa scrii un CV pana la 25 de ani. Eu si acum tremur cand imi trimit CV-ul, pentru ca ma gandesc ca am ratat vreo chestie si rade persoana care mi-l citeste. Sau nu, daca am fost atenta. Ori daca persoana aia e neatenta si lipsita de interes.

E absolut necesar sa gasesti un echilibru pana la 25 de ani, presupunand ca ai mai lucrat pana sa termini facultatea/masterul. Sau nu. Daca n-ai lucrat, e greu si o sa ai senzatia ca esti usor derutat. Pentru ca esti.

E absolut necesar sa fi trecut prin dezamagiri. Pentru ca asta te intareste si te face sa vrei mai mult de la tine. Sau nu, daca esti un om atat de slab, care va renunta la prima adiere de vant.

E absolut necesar sa fii deschis la orice. Sa ai minute in care nu stii ce sa faci si sa primesti neprevazutul in viata ta. Sau nu, daca asta inseamna ca iti va da peste cap toate planurile si ecosistemul.

Incearca sa nu fii dator nimanui si, daca poti, sa ii faci pe altii sa iti datoreze chestii. Sau nu. Poti fi un ipocrit cu doua fete, care se foloseste de oameni, ca-i mai simplu, si un nepasator la problemele celor din jur.

Pe cat posibil, nu te pretinde vreun cunoscator al adevarurilor universal valabile, nu da sfaturi nesolicitate si nu raporta experienta ta la alte persoane. Sau nu. Fie ele unice sau la gramada, intamplarile din viata ta spune-le, ia aminte la ele, impartaseste-le altora, poate le vor servi de exemplu, chiar si negativ.

Dar azi

Dar azi n-am ars!
Imi spune ochiul.
Azi n-am suras si nici n-am plans,
Dar tot ce-a fost si ce s-a strans
In mine
Se joaca de-a norocul.
Dar azi n-am ras!
Si-i doar tacere.
Caci sufletul meu se scutura
Incet
Si piere,
Ca orice ce n-a lasat pamant in urma ei.
Dar azi n-a fost nimic!
Mi-a spus nimicul.
De parca clipa s-ar scalda in timpuri,
S-ar alina si s-ar scurta,
Fara sa stii uscate ganduri.

Cimitirul brazilor de Craciun

Unde se duc brazii cand mor?
Desculti si goi, fara podoabe,
Cand acele le cad si-i dor,
Se duc ei oare la-nmormantari de babe?

Au stat inalti si drepti in casa noastra,
Peste covoare si parchete si mochete,
Unii i-au pus si la fereastra,
Sa stea la soare sa se-mbete.

Acum stau toti la colt de strada,
Ori aruncati in ghena, la gramada.
Vremea lor dusa e, fara tagada,
E doar frig si iarna fara de zapada.

Zi de copil

Sunt nascuta iarna, fix, dar fix imediat dupa Revelion si Craciun, fix, dar fix cand n-are lumea bani si nici loc in stomac pentru mancaruri si bauturi.

Copil fiind, ziua mea de nastere a nimerit mai tot timpul in vacanta, iar singura „petrecere” de care am avut parte a fost la fascinanta varsta de 5 ani, cand am fost un mic zbir ce a primit cadouri frumoase (prin zbir inteleg faptul ca am terorizat copiii veniti la party cu Elvis Presley – caruia ii spunem „La multi ani!” astazi – lui si lui David Bowie).

Pfoai, ce de vorba pe langa…

Anii au trecut, populara n-am fost niciodata. Remarc doar cadouri sporadice, pe la 16 ani (o nuca de cocos cumparata de sora unei colege si un set Nivea cumparat de mama unei alte colege), in rest doar ce primeam de la mama – ceea ce insemna cadouri frumoase, de obicei. Carti si haine si tort. Eram multumita.

Anii au trecut iara, in facultate am primit ceva ursuleti de plus, niste cercei oribili, alti ursuleti de plus, chestii banale, uneori foarte dragute (lumanerele si suporturi pentru ele), dar nimic memorabil.

Anii au trecut din nou, m-am transferat la Bucuresti, in The Big City, si am primit sampanii, am primit colegi in vizita de ziua mea (mama, cum era asta!), am primit carti, esarfe, cercei, lantisoare, lumanarele, bratari, cizme, lucruri care mi-au placut, dar care au disparut o data cu oamenii din viata mea.

(V-am zis ca-s antisociala, da?)

Anul asta am avut parte de o zi superba. Doar faptul ca scriu cu intarziere (de pe 5 pana acum a trecut ceva timp) ma face sa realizez ca inca plutesc in relaxarea de sambata.

birthday cake

Ziua frumoasa a inceput de vineri, cand la 16:30 a intrat pe usa mea un pachet de KFC cu un iPad. Adevarul e ca l-am simtit, l-am banuit ca vine, n-am fost chiar uimita, dar am fost foarte bucuroasa. (Si da, e cea mai cea jucarie pe care o am!!!)

Tot vineri, spre seara, un caine mic, flocos, ochios si iubaret se sprijinea pe usa, mai-mai sa intre in casa. L-am hranit, l-am indragit, asa ca de sambata face parte integranta din familia noastra.

Sambata a fost o zi de lene, in care asteptam party-ul care urma. Am primit cainele definitiv in casa, m-am imbracat, machiat si alte alea si-am pornit spre locul de poveste.

Pentru ca a fost o poveste…

A venit prima data o umplere de cont de iTunes, apoi o pereche de manusi colorate si o bufnita pe un portofel rosu cu buline rosii. Apoi o bufnita cu un set de lumanari parfumate, la pachet cu un buchet imens de crini. Apoi o superba geanta, colorata atat de vesel si frumos. I have no words! Au venit, pe rand, o bluza alba, o bluza gri, un fular rosu si niste recompense pentru caine. Un plic negru de seara si o pereche de manusi rosii superbe. Un fular alb pufos si un urs alb pufos – tot pentru caine. Un suport pentru aromaterapie, plus un semn numai bun de agatat in perete.

Dupa ce toate cadourile s-au asezat frumos in colt, povestea s-a dezlantuit. Cel mai mult mi-a placut ca mi-a depasit asteptarile. A fost frumos sa fie atata lume langa mine, toti in acelasi timp. Toata lumea a parut sa se distreze, totul a fost perfect (pentru mine).

Iar cel mai frumos a fost cand ne-am intors acasa – la noi acasa, unde catelul nostru iubit ne astepta, sa-l scoatem la plimbare pentru prima data.

Anul asta a fost prima data in mult timp cand m-am simtit copil fericit din nou…

Sursa poza.

De Craciun

Ce ciudat e sa calatoresti in sambata de dinaintea Craciunului. Unii se grabesc spre casa, altii nu mai prididesc cu munca.
Soselele si hipermarketurile sunt pline, iar la iesirile din orase parcarile si firmele de logistica au curtile pline.
Parca s-ar vrea un spirit al Craciunului in aer, dar soseaua e neagra si flancata de noroi. Zapada e aruncata de vanturi pe dealuri si pe campii, vantul ti-e prieten bun cand iesi din masina. Te mangaie si te bate, te cearta si-ti sterge lacrimile…
Casele stau chircite sub zapada, lume zero pe strada, haine puse la uscat, si cica vine Craciunul. De fapt, arata fix ca dupa Craciun – e liniste si mizerie, si de fapt nimeni n-a sarbatorit nimic.
Craciun? Ce e Craciunul?

Apocalipsei.

Apocalipse trec,
Durerile-mi petrec
Si totul azi se scurge-n vene.
Daca n-as sti ca timpul
Se naste-n anotimpul
Mortilor grozave ce putrezesc alene.
Si n-a fost una, n-au fost doua,
Au fost doar saptesutedouazecisinoua.
De cand timpul in piatra-a fost crestat,
Sfarsitul a venit si-a tot plecat.

BtVS – Characters

Continued from here.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is all about characters. Oh, you thought it was a vampire TV show? You are so wrong.

First of all, vampires are not the only bad things that happen in Sunnydale. Sunnydale is the fictional town where Buffy moves in order to move on with her life after burning down school property.

Second of all, in Sunnydale a lot of things happen, things that almost end the world (countless times), things that are so weird that you don’t know what to do with them (Dawn), things that are fucking scary (Hush), things that are weird and sad and no one knows how to react (The Body), things that resemble love and lust (Innocence), and I could go on. But you should know that these things keep the story moving and make the characters evolve.

buffyBuffy starts out as this insecure girl, a little overwhelmed by the sudden power given to her, not so much on the bright side (academically speaking), but fierce, powerful and brave. At first, a little lonely and awkward, she starts caring for the nerdy girl and her BFF, as well as for the father figure that is Rupert Giles. We see her trying to play it cool in front of the boys (Angel), trying to make friends (Willow and Xander), trying to be a good girl while solving the problems in her unique way (Rupert), trying to be a better daughter and sister, trying to stop the first apocalypse (the Master), the second one (killing Angel), the third one (killing the Mayor), the fourth one (killing Adam), the fifth one (sacrificing herself), the seventh one (killing the Turok-Hans and closing the Hellmouth). She’s trying to cope with things like sleeping with a guy and his sudden loss of interest in her, the death of her mother, exes of her boyfriend, her exes, her strained relationship with Willow, with Giles and with Xander, the sudden apparition of her sister, her resurrection. The only evolution we see in Buffy is that she gradually starts to accept her fate. She becomes more aware of her mission and her rights as a Slayer. She becomes this powerful woman, that’s left her childhood behind and is ready to embrace whatever kind of evil life may throw at her. She becomes a responsible leader, being an example for everyone in her life, she becomes selfless and caring with people around her. Pic here.

Buffy The Vampire SlayerWillow, the nerdy BFF, shy and scared of the likes of Cordelia, grows to be this strong powerful witch, after losing the ones she loved the most. In the beginning her talents were used for research, especially hacking some police archives or something similar, but after the second season, she started doing magic, resulting in her nearly destroying the world. After a crush on Xander and a failed relationship with a werewolf, Willow embraced her witch side and tried loving a woman for a while. Losing her made Willow abuse her powers and use black magic, but in the end those powers helped Buffy “share” her super-strength and Slayer-characteristics to the army of Potentials. A long way for the scared little geeky girl. Pic here.

xanderXander, the male friend attempting jealousy in weird moments, was not the scholar, but not quite the clown. Providing comic relief was, for about 2 seasons, his “deal”. But then he was molded into something more. Being only human, he was far from the researcher type, far from the hero type, but mostly stood by his friends when no one else would. He has the ability to see and understand better than others, due to his beautiful soul, and he has to power not to judge his friends and he helps them overcome their darkest times. Also, he has the uncanny ability to attract demons, culminating with his relationship with Anya, the retired demon of scorned women. Pic here.

gilesGiles, the archetypal father figure, is seen mentoring Buffy, mentoring Willow, mentoring Faith, sleeping with Buffy’s mom, trying to make Buffy more independent (in her days after the resurrection) and involved in every little aspect of her life. A younger version of Rupert, called the Ripper, is summoned in few episodes and we can see that the now serious and a bit too British Giles was a wild child, practicing dark magic and singing in a rock band (actually, Anthony Stewart Head has a wonderful voice). At first, he seems dull and out of place, but with time his role is increased from Watcher to father, doing him great justice. Pic here.

spikeSpike was part of the Big Bad in season 2. He was a puppy-dog vampire, promoted from drag to annoyance to dangerous and finally to potential lover from season 2 to season 6 (keep in mind that he didn’t appear in all of the episodes in those seasons). He goes through serious torture to finally get his soul back, because he loves Buffy so much and he wants to be with her, without hurting her or making her feel ashamed. In the end, he becomes the champion without whom the world could not be saved. In my opinion, his transformation is the best example of an evolution in a character. His role, though small in the beginning of the series, grew bigger and became more important when the show became darker. Pic here.

cordeliaCordelia, the Bee Queen of Sunnydale High, transforms herself from vapid egotistical bitch to superhero (but this will happen in Angel TV show), after a brief moment that was her relationship with Xander. Pic here.

ozOz, the werewolf that I thought was Willow’s soul mate, is an equilibrate character. He doesn’t evolve, he doesn’t involve, he just leaves Willow to “find” himself. Pic here.

taraTara, the greatest love in Willow’s life, is introduced as this shy girl, that takes interest in magic and witchcraft and, as the time goes by, she becomes more and more involved with Willow and the Scoobies. She goes from shy to no identity whatsoever to powerful woman and witch in just 2 seasons, only to be killed by a human. Pic here.

anyaAnya is the ex-demon stranded on Earth, flunking math and scared of rabbits. Oh, and also she has a relationship with Xander. She is introduced in season 3, after Cordelia wishes that Buffy never came to Sunnydale, but is immediately liked by the viewers and she stays as a regular until her death in season 7. She is awkward, has a very poor sense of what behavior is deemed as appropriate, she is very blunt and honest in her opinions and usually provides comic relief. In my opinion, we would all be Anyas, if socially accepted rules weren’t thought since early years. Pic here.

Dawn, the sister that was the key, is annoying and remains annoying throughout the series, without being funny.

faithFaith. The rogue Slayer. Five by five, if you know what I mean. She’s the dark Buffy, if you want, starting as a scared, insecure Slayer, getting promoted to Lieutenant Evil, then put in a coma (by badass Buffy) and then coming back, as an important ally against the Turok-Hans. Pic here.

angelAngel. Oh, Angel. The love of her life… Or so we thought. He is boring, with his hidden weird ways, with his soul and his mystery, eventually deemed too good to be true. He doesn’t evolve, he just moves on. Actually, he did evolve. From drunken Irish to killer vampire to vampire with a soul to killer vampire once more to vampire with a soul (again?!) and then to LA. There, he has another deal, with Cordelia and other demons, making babies with Darla and whatnot. Pic here.

The list is not complete. There are so many great characters, like Joyce Summers, Ms. Calendar, Darla, Drusilla, Jonathan, Snyder, Kendra, Riley, Warren, the Potentials and so on, that contributed to the evolution of Buffy and her friends and to lead us into the final battle against evil.