Verbal Violence – Men Vs. Women

Men tend to hit women, either with words chosen to hurt, either with blows that make you say „I fell”, „I tripped”, „I hit a door”, because balancing strength and humanity is a difficult task, apparently.

Whenever they have nothing else to say about your faults, they always start with non sense like „slut”, „cow”, „bitch”, „stupid”, and so on, because whenever they’re out of reasons they hate you, it’s easier to offend you.

I’m not always a feminist, but I can’t help but be disturbed by this behavior. I, as a woman, was called names either because I made my male counterpart feel weak or small or stupid, or because I have ignored male attention at some point.

Don’t get me wrong, but these situations make it seem like men sometimes want us submissive and obedient, and they act like little children unused to opinions different from their own.

Yes, women are mean to each other, and their words might sting a little bit more, if told with the right tone and choice of lettering. But men tend to go and offend that very part of you that makes you doubt yourself, just because they know it’s easier. It’s easy to overthrow a woman by saying she’s fat, because she’ll start fasting. It’s easier to make her take a one way trip to guilt town by saying she’s a slut, cause she’ll go home and start counting every little kiss she gave during her short lifetime. It’s easier to make her doubt her own intelligence by saying she’s stupid, cause she’ll think why the fuck is she so stupid to stay with a scumbag like you.

Zambete si cutite

Dragul meu,

Imi place sa aleg cuvinte, sa le impodobesc cu rasuflari de cafea si funde rosii ca de Craciun, dar stiu ca nu e ceea ce-mi permite  soarta, timpul, orice din sfera asta fatalista, asa ca renunt repede la ornamente  si trec la treaba.

Cand te-am cunoscut prima oara, era aproape vara si era galagie, asa ca mi s-a parut normal sa faci si tu galagie, si eu sa contribui la galagia de-acolo. Ne-am galagiit impreuna, si totul parea bine si frumos, pana cand n-a mai fost.

Acum, sa nu ma intelegi gresit. N-a fost nimic brusc sau abrupt, doar ca in sufletul meu e un cutit, mereu in teaca, gata sa fie folosit.

Si, dupa ce l-am folosit incet pe tine, l-am folosit si pe mine. Si sangele s-a facut durere mestecata si oasele noastre s-au spart cu zgomot, caci n-au mai putut tine in ele oroarea viselor si a zapezilor pustii de-afara.

Are vreun sens ce-ti zic eu aici?

Si iarta-ma daca-ti zambesc, pentru ca e singurul fel in care te pot construi suficient cat sa te distrug imediat.

Si te iubesc, si te urasc, si totul e cafea intre noi, asa e?

Si te vreau, si nu ma vreau, dar asta e tot ce pot sa-ti ofer.

Cu drag,

C.

Review: Lost Girl

Let me tell about TV shows, cause I happen to know a thing or two abou the subject. You’re given Lost Girl, one of the most campiest and funniest TV series ever, almost on the first place out there with Buffy and all that.

In Lost Girl you have friendship, and love, and betrayal, and alliances, and mystery, and family, and it’s so much fun, and annoying, and confusing, it’s got to be the best (or, at least, one of the best) TV shows there is!

Last night I watched, no… I enjoyed the newest stuff from Lost Girl, and boy, it was awesome! It started off so weird, and I was pissed and amazed at the same time. Lots of WTF moments.

And let me tell you something. This is what TV is all about. To scare you and thrill you, to make you want more. To get out of one episode all confused, only to clarify it all at the end of the season.

With Lost Girl I sometimes don’t know what’s happening. The universe of this show is so complex and so tangled, it’s doesn’t resemble any mythology in particular, but it’s more like a patchwork of these many stories from different cultures, so you never know what to expect.

OK, I admit, the actors are not the greatest, but they manage to pull off at least decent performances in this show. The story beats everything, though. And oh my God, do I love Kenzi!

Friend me on Facebook

Actually, no, don’t do that. I come from this magical place, where people are not up in each others’ butt, so maybe, just maybe, seeing that someone is friends with some other someone I barely know isn’t an open invitation to „add” them to my social network.

As I child/teen, I used to say that I don’t have a phone, just to skip that moment when people would call me. When I finally got a mobile phone (remember when they used to call them that?), I got the plan which allowed me to pay little to nothing on texts and it also gave the possibility to call people, if I ever needed to do such a wild thing.

I’m not big on socializing, and this has turned me into this weird, awkward being. Or maybe I was already broken and unsociable and the internet has done nothing to fight off this disease.

I don’t know what’s the cause or maybe if there’s a cure, but I live in constant fear of someone asking me to friend them on Facebook. I had to explain a few days ago why I don’t do the „Add friend” thing. I’m afraid, very afraid, that maybe I’m gonna be disrespectful, or maybe that I am disturbing something important, or maybe that I look to desperate.

Something in the lines of that.

See, now, I don’t hate people. But it’s actually really had to talk and approach someone you know, I find it incredibly difficult to stalk people on social media (another shitty thing I’m no good at).

Friend me maybe?

Saving Is Hard

It’s hard to be saved, because people have to fight with you, since we are all taught that saving is for the weak. And then, after they’re done with fighting you, people have to fight whatever demon lie next with you at night and they have to keep those demons away from you.

Saving is hard, because you end up used and broken, and it’s hard to rebuild on that frame something that sees life with bright eyes.

To be saved is the worst nightmare for people like me, who thrive in this puddle of sadness and pain. I will not receive your help, nor will I welcome it. Stay away from me with your saving hands and your warm blankets.

I’m not sure what I wanted, or what I needed… There was something about saving in my head, but my head is bad at remembering stuff and my heart is broken, so who cares?

Trial and Error

Having tried several TV shows and failing miserably each time (I’m looking at you, Bones, Fringe, The Mentalist, Supernatural, and so on), as well as trying the same move with different movies, most of them starring the current Mr. Jolie (Se7en and Fight Club being the most notable examples), I can conclude that I am a trier unwilling to let go and unwilling to accept defeat, indifferent of the form it takes.

By these means I am now ready to punish myself for wasting my time and years trying repeatedly to fill in some unwritten norms and failing miserably.

At the same time, I am ready to applaud my stoic manner of pursuing things out of my comfort zone, even though they made me gag or fall asleep each and every single time.

This rant has been cause by several articles per day, read by yours truly, articles which glorify some content products made for entertaining purposes only and not for self-torture, as I was (wrongly) using them.

Meaningless

Well, it’s hard to live a balanced life when music isn’t what it was before, and when movies are not here for your pleasure, but for work purposes, so at least I have my make up on and I guess that could be considered a win.

Starting with last year, I became somewhat obsessed with make up and other girly stuff like that, so I managed to gather quite the collection. But this collection isn’t worth your time or my words, so I’ll just leave it here, for bragging purposes only.

I hate how this time of the year makes me feel so weird, sometimes it feels like spring, but other times it just feels awful. I am swimming in a sea of mixed feelings and I’m not sure if I like it or not. Mostly, I hate it, but one can never be too sure.

I find it hard to come up with a conclusion, so I guess today words are meaningless.