Where the hell is Matt

Matt e un tip care a facut ceva ce multi viseaza, daca n-ar fi niste riscuri implicate si daca ar avea curaj. L-am gasit pe Matt pe pagina lui Arhi si, curioasa, am dat click. Mi se pare a leap of faith sa faci asta, fara sa ai back-up – cel putin in prima faza (povestea poate fi citita integral aici), si apoi unii si altii sa te ajute sa-ti indeplinesti visul. Ce o fi simtit omul asta cand a vazut cata incredere i se acorda, cand a vazut ca oamenii abia asteapta sa-l vada si sa danseze cu el, cand a vazut ca e o mica celebritate pe internet? (Celebritate, fie vorba intre noi, mai utila, daca pot spune asa, decat Paris Hilton si KimK.)
Matt e un om ca oricare altul, cu mica diferenta ca el a avut curaj sa-si lase jobul plictisitor si sa plece de nebun. Nu stiu pe nimeni capabil sa faca asa ceva, nici macar oameni care sa se gandeasca asa departe.
Cand eram putin mai mica, imi era mereu frica de oameni si ma gandeam ca, daca o sa ma cunoasca vreodata cineva, imi iau sosetele si tricourile si in secunda 2 ma mut pe alt continent. Era un vis de-al meu, nu-mi dau seama de ce mereu voiam sa fug si e bine ca intre timp lucrurile s-au mai schimbat in bine si foarte bine.
In ultima vreme, am citit multe lucruri despre curaj, si de fiecare data cand le citesc, imi spun ca voi face mai mult pentru mine. Nu, nu voi pleca de nebuna peste mari si tari, am multe lucruri frumoase aici. Dar ar trebui sa fiu mai activa, mai curajoasa, mai apropiata si mai… om. Ar trebui sa visez mai mult si sa zbor mai mult, sa fiu mai blanda, sa fiu mai noua, sa ma reinventez, de data asta fara sa ma uit.

blink-182 – After Midnight

What Love – Part II should have been… Angels & Airwaves meets blink-182 again.

I can’t get my feet up off the edge
I kind of like the little rush you get
When you’re standing close to death
Like when you’re driving me crazy

Hold on as we crash into the earth
A bit of pain will help you suffer when you’re hurt, for real
‘Cause you are driving me crazy

Bite your lips, the word’s a robbery
Do you grin inside? You’re killing me
All along we talked of forever
I kind of think that we won’t get better
It’s the longest start, but the end’s not too far away
Did you know? I’m here to stay

We’ll stagger home after midnight
Sleep arm-in-arm in the stairwell
We’ll fall apart on the weekend
These nights go on and on and on

I can’t keep your voice out of my head
All I hear are many echoes of
The darkest words you said
And it’s driving me crazy

I can’t find the best in all of this
But I’m always looking out for you
‘Cause you’re the one I miss
And it’s driving me crazy

Bite your lips, the word’s a robbery
Do you grin inside? You’re killing me
All along we talked of forever
I kind of think that we won’t get better
It’s the longest start, but the end’s not too far away
Did you know? I’m here to stay

We’ll stagger home after midnight
Sleep arm-in-arm in the stairwell
We’ll fall apart on the weekend
These nights go on and on and on

Annie Lennox – Why

How many times do I have to try to tell you
That I’m sorry for the things I’ve done
But when I start to try to tell you
That’s when you have to tell me
Hey… this kind of trouble’s only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don’t you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That’s why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Tell me…
Why
Why

I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you’re thinking
And I’ve heard is said too many times
That you’d be better off
Besides…
Why can’t you see this boat is sinking
(this boat is sinking this boat is sinking)
Let’s go down to the water’s edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me…
Why
Tell me…
Why

This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I’ll never tread
These are the dreams I’ll dream instead
This is the joy that’s seldom spread
These are the tears…
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel ?
‘cause i don’t think you know how I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
I don’t think you know what I feel
You don’t know what I feel

Snow Patrol – Just Say Yes

I’m running out of ways to make you see
I want you to stay here beside me
I won’t be ok and I won’t pretend I am
So just tell me today and take my hand
Please take my hand
Please take my hand

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

It’s so simple and you know it is
You know it is, yeah
We can’t be to and fro like this
All our lives
You’re the only way to me
The path is clear
What do I have to say to you
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear
For Gods sake, dear

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

Just say yes, coz Im aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in

I can feel your heart beat through my shirt
This was all I wanted, all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want
Its all I want

Just say yes, just say there’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test, nor a trick of the mind
Only love

Just say yes, coz Im aching and I know you are too
For the touch of your warm skin
As I breathe you in

Despre liniste

Esti intotdeauna liber sa te razgandesti, si sa iti alegi alt viitor, sau un alt trecut.
(Richard Bach – „Indrumar pentru Mesia”).

Am facut o viata jocul altora, mi-am contruit casa in baza cuvintelor lor, si pe terenul lor. Cateodata, imi vopseam coliba in culori vesele, si ei credeau ca in casa mea nu e furtuna. Nu vedeau cum atarnam pe la geamuri, si nu vedeau griul disperat din ea. Cioburile atarnande peste tot erau mascate cu atentie de obloane colorate in rosu aprins, si daca se intampla sa se vada ceva, spuneam repede ca e un mis-en-scene foarte reusit.
Ma mascam, si ma afisam lumii sub masca reusita a omului fericit, tarand cu grija piciorul si bila grea de fier. E greu sa-ti tarasti minciunile, dorind sa fi fost un pic altfel, un pic mai bun, un pic mai vesel, un pic mai atent si mai rasfatat. E greu sa te prefaci ca neatentia altora nu te atinge, si sa te prefaci ca-ti pasa de niste oameni care nu te intregesc. E usor sa te prefaci ca nu te intereseaza sa cauti, si sa respingi cautarea, din motive de simpla lene. Cand lasi focul din tine sa se stinga, incet-incet, dispari si tu cu el. Cand te uiti la aer, o sa vezi ca nu mai ies decat aburi razleti din tine, fara caldura si fara lumina.

Vreau sa ma aprind, sa fiu din nou foc si lumina. Vreau sa zambesc, si sa fiu fericita. Vreau sa ma tii in brate, si sa fie liniste. Sa respiri in parul meu, si sa-mi redecorezi sufletul in armonie. Vreau sa fii langa mine cand e liniste si lumina, si cand se face iarasi noapte, sa ma trezesc langa tine, si sa imi dau seama ca e doar un cosmar. De fapt, e cald, e lumina, e liniste, si tu respiri in parul meu.