The Killers – Shot At The Night

The most killer Killers song this year.

I listen to it, and I want to be covered in night, in the beautiful dark air of freedom… I want a special summer that lasts for a second, I want lights that shine bright above me, I want to be a shadow that dances til the morning…

This song makes me remember simpler times, when I was younger, and free, and with cares that belonged to only me. It makes me feel like a steady rock of glowing energy, if that’s even possible.

It makes me remember summer and islands and purple suns. It makes me remember mirrors that don’t lie and people that don’t hurt.

I think someday I had a shot at the night, but then I grew up and it all went black.

Who Am I?

Things are not what they used to be. This stereotypical phrasing starts running through my mind, once in a few months, because my inner clock has this perpetual movement of disappointment that needs to be addressed.

And when things are not what they used to be, I start looking for ways out, because there’s too much doubt and not enough peace, and I am in one piece… Still.

I need my drunken music, and my beautiful covers, and my never-ending pause… I need my lies and I need to close my eyes. I need to tell myself that stories are just stories, and souls are just souls, and this weakness in me is just another way to pass the time.

In the back of my head, on the back of my hand, things are laid out like on a beautiful, monstrous canvas… There are words and feelings and fingers that point at the ones to be blamed. My lipstick is red, my feelings are dead. I am numb, number, the numbest. Life is a list and this list is a… What?!

I have forgotten things… I love, I hate, I belittle. I want a human… To love, to hate, to belittle. Things are just moments, life’s just a dream. Who am I?

Zile strambe

De parca zilele s-ar scurge la fel, dar nu s-ar mai scurge… As vrea si n-as vrea sa fac ceva, si daca as face, ce folos as avea? Ca parca viata asta e altfel cand ceva iti iese la afacere, si parca e un pic mai frumos afara daca iesi pe plus din orice.

Dar zilele astea, la fel ca oricare altele, sunt niste zile strambe si fara succes, fara sa ma gandesc atat de des precum ar trebui si precum as putea, dar n-as putea, bai nene, sa-nteleg cumva despre ce e vorba in toata fraza asta lunga cat o zi de post. Si mai stii zilele alea lungi de post? Sunt arse, sunt fum, sunt tarana uscata si rosie, asa ca nu stiu cum sa te mai imbrobodesc, pe cruce sa te slujesc si, daca as vrea (dar nu vreau), as tine ochii deschisi sa te privesc pana cand soarele apune, pana cand pe lume nu mai sunt lucruri bune carora sa le spun pe nume.

E stramb si e innorat, asa ca cerul se aduna si se-adapa usor deasupra mea, fara sa gaseasca o cale mai curata, mai alba, mai uscata, mai normala, care sa poata rasfira pe ea insemnari insemnate de buzate curate. Nu avem si nici nu vrem sa avem tara si ostasi si linguri si seminte de orez, doar samanta de scandal salasluieste in potopul asta de trupuri vinovate si murdare si vinete si insangerate. Ca niste hiene, doar scandalul si semintele lui pervertite saruta trupuri jegoase, mucegaite, macinate si roase de boli inchipuite.

Dar zilele astea strambe nu sunt la fel, nici ieri si nici maine, cu atat mai putin azi. Zilele mele strambe se-aduna ca apa de izvor scuipata din sanii pamantului in cantecul vantului. Si azi am venit cu lopatica sa imi desfac marginile mormantului.

Nude

Nude as always comes the cat,
I have nothing in my hat.
Only words and powers not,
On the inside I am rot.
Heavy on the sky with blows,
Hell is something no one knows.
Parted as a one way road,
I am nothing but a toad.

Limelight

Limelight of words
And witches of worth
Sharing one sword
‘Til the end of the world.
Tears of the rain
Are sharing one pain
And if nothing I gain,
Why do I complain?

The mornings of after
Are nothing but softer
Than words and the muster
Of one killer mother.

Friend

I think you could have been an extraordinary friend.
A smile to keep, a helping hand.
But in the end you chose to step away,
Leaving me heartless, leaving me prey.
Your words have touched and maybe drowned a few,
How could I know? I wish I knew
The darkness and the whole despair within,
The tragic words, the sweetness of the sin.
You dig me holes, in which I voluntarily fall.
You never knew me. You never knew it all.
Life’s but a bittersweet assortment of the things
I knew and loved and all that’s left are kings.

poezie

toate imi vorbesc cuvinte
rasfirante-adanc in minte,
si prin apa, prin morminte,
eu barfesc de cele sfinte.

uite ceasul cum se trece,
mai ceva ca apa rece
ce era sa ma inece
nu intr-o secunda,-n zece.

uite timpul tavalug,
se ascunde in cosciug,
nici de n-am un betesug,
nu-s prilej de vreun belsug.

viata dulce de amara,
de cu zi si pana-n seara,
tu ma tii ca intr-o gheara,
pana moartea ma omoara…