Impresii bucurestene

M-am trezit de dimineata ca orice alt om. Adica am deschis ochii, ca urla alarma langa mine, si-am zis
„pfoai, ce tarziu e, cat e ceasu’?!”, intr-o criza totala de neuroni si timp. Si m-am intors frumos pe partea cealalta.

Intr-un final, am binevoit sa-mi ridic fizicul dintre asternuturi si, bai, ce fizic! Ce asternuturi! M-am indreptat frumos spre baie, unde oglinda imi arata o persoana atractiva la primele ore ale diminetii, persoana pe care am spalat-o si pieptanat-o frumos, ca sa fie decent de aratat la lume.

Am servit o cafea facuta de mana mea indemanatica, adica un zem de apa chioara cu niste ness si zahar (nu mult, ca ingrasa), pe care am savurat-o privind cu interes un post de muzica (nu zic care, ca nu facem reclama, dar era VH1).

Cand s-a facut timpul, mi-am ridicat fizicul (care intre timp a devenit fabulos) de pe canapeluta si am plecat de-acasa. Se vede treaba ca fizicul meu instiga si intriga, caci maidanezii cartierului m-au alergat, probabil ar fi vrut sa-mi ofere flori de camp udate de urina lor si a altora. Fizicul meu fabulos a alergat un pic mai repede, unde se observa treaba aia rusinoasa cu adrenalina.

Am reusit sa ajung cu fizicul in stare buna in statia de autobuz, unde am bagat un sprint ca lumea, de zici ca am fost la semimaratonul din weekend. Am urcat rapid pe treptele intesate de oameni (reprezentati, in majoritate, de cetateni aflati la a multa tinerete), cu scuzele de rigoara („Pardon, imi dati voie?”) rasplatite cu priviri pline de pizma. Toti reprezentantii venerabili ai varstei a treia imi daruiau coate si genunchi in diverse parti moi ale fizicului meu impresionant, asaltandu-mi in acelasi timp nasucul fin.

„Bai, astia lucreaza pe doua cai, si fizic, si psihic”, mi-am zis, dandu-mi seama de strategia care ii ajuta pe cetatenii respectabili ai urbei sa ajunga la timp la piata. La Piata Romana sau la Piata Victoriei, nu stiu inca, dar undeva pe-acolo.

Inspirata fiind de vorba din popor, cel mai destept cedeaza, am zis ca acum e momentul sa fac miscarea inteleapta. La prima statie am coborat, luand-o la pas repejor spre birou, bucurandu-ma ca i-am fentat pe batranei.

Concluzia? Bucuresti, capitala europeana moderna, unde esti alergat de caini, mirosuri si pensionari…

Memory Lane

Today I took the road back to Memory Lane, reading old poems and stories and old articles about the music in my life.

Back in 2008, when I started this blog, I never thought I’d go this far with it. Actually, I took a break from blogging and writing all together, in 2010, if my memory serves me right.

It’s funny reliving all these thoughts and feelings and I find it amazing that the same songs still move me.

May 26th was the first day I ever wrote something on my own, not a forum run by idiots. So this year I will celebrate this little thing called blog, since it’s its 5th anniversary. 5 is also my favorite number and my lucky number.

I’ll go back to reading my memoirs. I’m on page 24 out of 32, but I started reading it backwards.

The War of One

It came with night and wrath,
It came cold and it unwrapped
The foils of my lonely soul.
How I wish I’d have it all!

I take easy steps and I guess
That God’s not here, for me to bless,
So I dive right in the holy waters
And I won’t hear all of the slaughters.

Feathers and swords and mines around me,
They cut and tear and blow inside me.
This war of one, it sheds my skin.
This war of mine, it lives within.

Help

helpHelp.
This word sounds somewhat familiar, but also a little bit too out of this world for me. I was never good at asking for help, nor was I great at offering it.
I am a weird human being, a combination of compassion and awkwardness, a combination of indiference and anger, a combination of love and regret, a combination of emotions and reactions that are not necessarily the right one for the respective emotion, so all in all, I am neither good or bad. At helping, at least.
I am something in between, lukewarm and fuzzy, fluffy-wuffy with a hard rock bottom, and I can neither send you hope, or shoot you down completely.
I am without aim, but also without revenge. I am completely clueless, but I still know that I want something. Please, help me find me!

The Right Answer

Nights pass the same as they did until now, only time seems generous. I have enough time to go to the gym and walk the dog (soon to be dogs) and also shop and cook healthy stuff (I am looking at you, spinach!), but somehow my life has found itself stuck in a moment.
If I were to ask myself what that moment was, I couldn’t find the right answer, so I just keep abusing my seconds and minutes in hope to find it, but I never do…

Better

Words don’t come easy. I know it’s just a song, but it is also the state I’m in.
I wish I could be better.
I wish I could do better.
I wish for things I don’t know how to wish for.
I wish for experiences and feelings and for a louder world.
I’m not sure how to ask for those things, so I keep quiet in my head and close my eyes.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Inverted Kiss

I keep my lips apart,
My hips are near my heart.
I suffer from each breath I take,
Under my skin there is a snake.

I let the sin sink in my soul
And let it shatter love in holes,
And as I lie and start to shiver,
My spit is glowing just like silver.

I have no answer in my mouth,
The rivers just stopped going south.
I close my eyes and lips I close,
My breath inside of me – it froze.

I kiss my insides and my veins,
There’s emptiness and there are chains.
I kiss whatever that is left
After you finished with this theft.