i need to know

i have this gift:
i need to know.
i need to know it now,
i need to know each breath of air
that passes through your lips,
each molecule
of bitter oxygen
that was inside you,
that now kisses other girls in front of you.
i need to know the stuff you’re doing,
and all the stuff that you’re not feeling.
because i truly believe that it will help me
be in the state that will allow me
to not have this gift.
i do not need to know,
i do not need to know it now.
i do not want to know.