younger

when i was younger i abused my dreams,
i’ve lost count of times spent with wrong people,
giving the wrong hugs,
losing precious moments.
when i was younger i forgot a lot about myself,
and felt like my value was somehow less because of everything i never was.
i made a habit out of waiting for people to become
what they never truly were.
when i was younger i lost myself so many times,
tearing my heart and dreams away,
giving them to people who did not deserve me,
instead of giving them to me.
when i was younger i was so foolish,
but i don’t wish i’d live that time again.
cause this is the time i am me,
and this is when you’ve met me.

Carry On

Walking through life balancing both of my left feet on a single sharp blade,
I know you’d say that this is hell, but I simply call it home.
I’m used to it – the harsh sound of spilling blood,
The drinks I forgot to have and all of the friends I forgot to call,
All of those times when I said I’d eat healthy,
And that I’d call my mom,
All of those are gone, and I’m just screaming my lungs out,
Drowning in silence,
Drowning in pain.
I know I’m vain,
But I’m not in vain.