Stuck

I once lived through screams and fights,
through gripping horrors,
some dull knives,
and all that’s left of that dark night
is pillow talk – so bland and light.
My skin is broken,
heart is numb,
the scary monsters seem all dumb,
and all that’s left after the storm
is just my body, soul deformed.
After you cut through me so deep,
after I woke up from that sleep,
I figured out I need you more,
but you are gone, you closed the door.
After the rain that fell on me,
I cannot breathe, I cannot see.
Everything’s gone when you’re not here,
everything hurts when you’re not near.
My road is blurry, what the fuck?
I am so stuck…

Love

Hearts are cold, and hands are looking for each other. In this world of lies and deceit, nothing is real, and nothing hurts, when everything fails to have a heartbeat. All I can think of is your hands down my back; all I can think of is my hands around your neck. This addiction runs through me, without hesitation, without remorse, without restrain.

I miss your lips, and I miss your eyes. I miss the way you tell me lies.

I miss how good you are at reading all the signs. And how you turn off all the lights around the city, inside me, inside God…

You left darkness, you left cold, you left me… You left the beat, the heart, the non sense and the mystery; all the while you were trying to survive the crisis of love.

Nothing inside you was love, and nothing inside me was true. We were the children of mischief, and we were bad – so very bad to each other that no one dared to lift the dreams, to lift the veils from our eyes.

We never had it all. We always had nothing.

I am not sure what I’m trying to tell you, maybe that I miss you. Your beginning, and your ending. Your smile. Your power. Your tears are tearing me up.

We never had it all, and now it may be too late.

We forgot how to be addicted to ourselves, and now we’re addicted to each other. We’re addicted to the pain, the numbness, the unhappiness.

The fire is gone, but the coal is still there. All numb, but hot. All fiery, but calm. And it will burn you like nobody else. It will burn, and it will pain you. Your bones will be crushed, and my soul will be destroyed. And it will be too late, or maybe it will be too soon. I still love the sound of you.

Promisiune

Si mi-am promis ca nu-ti mai spun minciuni,
Chiar dac-am asteptat minuni,
Chiar daca zilele nu sunt ce-au fost,
Eu stiu ca te-am mintit si te-am luat de prost.

Si mi-am promis ca zilele vor fi mai albe,
Dar apa nu-i destula sa ne scalde,
Dar sufletul nu e suficient de tare,
Dar lumea asta nu-i de-ajuns de mare.

Si mi-am promis ca nu mai cred in tine,
Cu toate ca asa ar fi mai bine,
Cu toate ca tresar de fiecare data cand te vad,
Cu toate ca fara tine-n suflet e prapad.

Si mi-am promis ca o sa fiu mai buna,
Desi in suflet nebunia se aduna,
Desi tacerea ta ma umple de durere,
Desi n-am aer sa respir si nu am putere.

In joaca

In joaca,
in tacere,
stii ca ai gust de miere,
si totul
pare
mult mai aproape de soare.
In joaca,
departe,
stii ce e zi, ce e noapte,
si totusi,
imi pare
ca zilele sunt doar cate sapte.
In joaca,
cuvinte,
doar stii ca n-am minte!
si parca,
doar parca,
ce-mi spui azi ma minte.
In joaca,
si timpul
stie ca trece amar.
In joaca,
timpul
e cel mai salbatic dar.

Lady Gaga – Dope

It’s that time of the day again. Today is June 17, a day that proves to be shitty, because hey! It’s 17! And you know my problem with that. If not, proceed.

But today, on the 17th, Lady Gaga is a good distraction. Sam Smith does not work today. I have been listening to Dope for three hours now, and I still need that raspy voice to cover all the bad things that are inside me.

[Verse 1]
Cork’s off, it’s on
The party’s just begun
I promise this
This drink is my last one
I know that I fucked up again
Because I lost my only friend
God forgive my sins
Don’t leave me, I
Oh I will hate myself until I die

[Chorus]
My heart would break without you
Might not awake without you
Been hurting low, from living high for so long
I’m sorry, and I love you
Sing with me, „Bell Bottom Blue”
I’ll keep searching for an answer cause I need you more than dope

[Post-Chorus]
I need you more than dope
Need you more than dope
Need you more than dope
I need you more than dope

[Verse 2]
Toast one last puff
And two last regrets
Three spirits and
Twelve lonely steps
Up heaven’s stairway to gold
Mine myself like coal
A mountain of a soul
Each day, I cry
Oh, I feel so low from living high

[Chorus]
My heart would break without you
Might not awake without you
Been hurting low, from living high for so long
I’m sorry, and I love you
Sing with me, „Bell Bottom Blue”
I’ll keep searching for an answer cause I need you more than dope

[Post-Chorus]
I need you more than dope
Need you more than dope
Need you more than dope
I need you more than dope

I need you more
Need you more
I need you more than dope

Stories

All of my horrors,
All of my stories
Are left with sadness,
Are left with glories,
And everything else
That stands in between
Has never seen
The horrors I’ve seen.
And all of the sadness,
And all of the glories,
Have touched all I had
With one single story
Of hate and disgust,
Of silenced regret,
Of everything else
I still haven’t met.