And I always thought life was hard,



Upsetting even.

Some mornings were definitely difficult,

And some nights were sleepless,

My body was not my own,

My thoughts were not the best,

And yet I’ve powered through.

We’ve powered through it all.

We thought there’s going to be more time

To reach to where we want to be,

To go to all the places we want to see,

To feel all of the love we want to feel.

The truth is simple, hard, demanding,

Tiring, even upsetting.

The only time we have left is now.

We can’t go back and change the past,

We can’t go forward and fix what we don’t know.

And day by day, and night by night,

We draw in breath; we draw in life.

There is no dark, there’s only light,

The death is silent, no more strife.

The Only Thing

Who are you after all the people are gone?

After you turn off the lights that fill up your life,

And turn off the music,

And get in your own bed?

Do you like yourself? And who you’ve become?

Do you miss the acceptance of others,

And the hugs from the mothers

You’ve had?

The friends that keep running towards you

And giving you purpose?

Who are you, when all you have now is time?

And who you were supposed to be when all the lights were gone?

Do you run from yourself

Or do you run from others?

Do you think you’re a work in progress

Or do you think you’re done baking?

Do you have certainties about you

Or is the only thing you a very clear unknown?

Are you happy and kind? Or are you at least trying?

There is still time for you to learn all of this,

To learn yourself,

To learn the others,

To learn love and despair,

Hope and breathing in the air.

The only thing you’ll always have

Until the day you die

Is time.


I started from pebble and rust,
I felt no lips,
I was covered in rust,
There was only darkness and moisture
And longing for a fixture.
I had time to rummage the words,
Time to get even in my head
And piss my own bed.
I had no reason to be ashamed,
Since it was single and despaired.
I had time to become the broken,
Lost in a pile of ashes and death,
Covered in screams and the ugliest breath
Life has to give you for free and to keep.
Oh god, you are neck deep
In this little child’s game of horror and tremor.


As the words rush out,
As time forgets to put on its pout,
As the roots dig deeper in the ground,
I am left here without sound.

As you know me inside out,
As the world turns without doubt,
As the future holds the dice,
I am left to eat my slice.

One week old and one week only,
How did I get so lonely?
Time is one,
No time to hide!
I am left on the inside.
Time is low,
And time is slow.
I am left with moldy dough.
One time old and one time only,
How did you get so lonely?


sand-time-clockFragments and figments
In a world without pigments
Reality’s gone with the sin and away
I have no place where I can stay.

Bloody sheets and sweat
In a world without sounds and breath
No balance in sight and zero places to hide
This monstrous child bride.

Forgotten wars and words,
In a world with unsharpened swords
These times are waving goodbye to this land
All that is left is some sand.


New Starts

new starts

I remember summer as a kid. It was a moment of pause, a moment of rest, when I could enjoy time and books, without fear of getting old.

Now I’m old, or older, depending how you see things like these, and I feel like summer is the moment for new start.

What else can it be? Life is growing out of each and every stone. People seem to be rushing somewhere. You find the day long enough for you to do stuff. So what else is there but time?

Where else can I get my sense of time and my independence?



In riddles

Out of the riddle,
How far is the middle?
The view inside-out,
Without fear, without doubt.
There’s silence inside,
But where do I hide?
Since all of my doors
Are out on the floors.
Now my clocks go backwards,
Shoveling backyards.
With my last drop of will,
I’ll start standing still.
But what do I make,
IF there’s nothing to take?
I think I’ll just wait
For my life’s bait.