Personal Crisis

Maybe it’s not fair to judge the others, as I have found out that I myself I’m a questionable human being at best. I’ve always displayed a bit of preachiness within me, but now more than ever I seem to get annoyed at everything and everyone. I am annoyed at my friends who share serious information on the coronavirus, and annoyed at my friends who don’t take it seriously. I feel like I am two people in one and choosing only what’s convenient for me to display somewhat of a semblance of perceived normality.

I don’t know why I do all these things. I am okay with my groups of friends, and I am okay being by myself, so in no way I’m trying to drive them away. It’s just that I’m struggling to find my place within me. I’m also trying to nurture those relationships I have, as I do think they’re important and I want them in my life.

I’m maybe a bit unbalanced, but somehow, I don’t feel like it? I mean, it does feel sometimes that I’m on the outside looking in, and I’m viewing myself through someone else’s eyes. Is this the new reality? Am I going crazy?

PS: Adding this to support my internal healing, and maybe yours too.

PPS: yes, it’s the coronavirus issue, it’s affecting me and my relationships more than I thought.

New Starts

new starts

I remember summer as a kid. It was a moment of pause, a moment of rest, when I could enjoy time and books, without fear of getting old.

Now I’m old, or older, depending how you see things like these, and I feel like summer is the moment for new start.

What else can it be? Life is growing out of each and every stone. People seem to be rushing somewhere. You find the day long enough for you to do stuff. So what else is there but time?

Where else can I get my sense of time and my independence?



Nu-mi cer osanda

Nu-mi cer osanda. E o vorba auzita de mult de mine, spusa de bunica mea. O auzeam de cate ori isi spunea cate un of pe-acasa, semn al omului care indura si face, fara sa se planga prea mult. Vorbea cat putea despre ce o durea pe ea acolo, si apoi o lua de la capat.
Intodeauna o sa apreciez treaba asta la batranii nostri. Au indurat multe rele, multe greutati si multe lipsuri, si nimic nu i-a invins.
Cand simt ca nu mai pot, mai lasa un pic greutatea jos, se uita in stanga, apoi in dreapta, mai scot o vorba cu inteles pentru cine-i asculta, apoi o iau de la capat. Nu-si cer osanda.

Vorbe inspirate de articolul asta.