I suck at life. I am mean and obnoxious and I suck at life. I trip, I drop things, I ruin stuff. How can I go on like this?
I need a life bumper, cause I hate life, I hate running into people and I’m not good at breathing either.
If I were to list out all the things I’m not good at, I’d never run out of things to say. But I’m not here to brag – I’m here to complain.

I hate my two left hands.