I wanna laugh and just be awesome, but when I forget how to do that, I just stare blankly at the reflection in the mirror and drool.

But why do I drool?

Know won noes, Carl. No one knows.

I wanna drive like a maniac, but I don’t wanna maniac like a drive. I just want to speed up, speed down, and wear the crown of a crazy person in dire need of a life.

Dammit, Carl. Why are you being such a prick?

I guess it’s because you have mommy issues, or maybe it’s because your mom has issues with you. You fucked up, Carl, and you are a fuck up. So who the fuck cares?!

OMG, Carl! Grow up already! And stop sucking your thumbs. And stop chewing your mom!