What if I lie and lie and never discover the truth?
Life was sometimes easy, sometimes hard and sometimes it rained. Still, the mornings were still the same, with clouded lights outside the windows and cold air rushing under the doors.
Milk in the morning tastes good, except for the days when it tastes bad. The smell of coffee is maddening.
I am just a normal girl, just like you. Sometimes I don’t feel like waking up in the morning. The sun is friendly, I know it, and the wind rushes through the leaves.
I wish I knew you earlier – this is what I always tell you. At work, I don’t have you and my mom is dead. In fact, I don’t work where you know that I work.
Oh, I wish I knew you earlier, I would’ve lied so much better. I always tell you I like your music and the way you cook food. But when you’re not here, I am vegetarian and some people make fun of me. My boss makes fun of me, because of my peculiar way of dressing.
When you’re not with me, I listen to… I don’t know what I listen to. People know I listen to Aphex Twins and … Oh, I forgot about that band. Autobahn something was a song of theirs.
See, what I like the most about me is the fact that my brain seems to move so fast. I think so fast, except when I’m nervous. Then, I don’t think at all. I can’t seem to shake off the noise.
Sometimes, I talk to you in front of a mirror. I like to practice before I see you, because you sometimes catch me off guard.
What if I lie and lie and never discover the truth?
I know you don’t exist, but for my mom you are good enough. My dad was good enough, he was never around, but I understood he was a soldier in some war.
I always buy you presents. My closet is full of shirts and sweaters.
I know you don’t exist, but I can’t be alone. I’m sick of being alone.
I am the pathological liar.
What if I lie and lie and lie some more?
Honey, what do you think about the little story I wrote? Do you think it could be a good reading?
Yeah, I love when you laugh, but people are crazy. Yes, I think I want to name her boyfriend after you. Can I?
What if you lie?
Stop lying to me, this game makes me sick! I’m tired of you living in this shitty world you call fantasy and I call hell. Stop saying things that aren’t true, stop inventing stories.
But honey, this is what a writer does! What am I supposed to do? Have an office job?
Stop lying! Stop writing about me! My mom already thinks I’m crazy.
Yeah honey, but the woman is always crazy…
How can you say that?! Are you toying with me? You think you’re some kind of god?
What’s the matter with you?
What if I lie and lie and never change?
Crying… sick of talking, sick of stories, and sick of covering for him.
He just attacked me.
Was it the first time, miss?
No, sir.
So why didn’t you say anything until now?
I hope… I prayed… I begged him to stop… I don’t know…
Miss, are those painful?
Looking in the mirror, taking deep breaths…
The pain stopped long time ago. It’s only my soul that aches.
What if I lie and lie and I am just a lie?
Something ended that night. I am still around, but nobody notices me anymore. I don’t have any more interesting stories to tell, since the night that I killed him.
