Bangs

All of the bangs I’ve had
They weren’t loud,
They weren’t tasty,
They weren’t mornings,
Nights and dreams,
They dissipated
Without disrupting,
They left a shadow
Without leaving marks,
They left a traces
Without leaving a scar.
All of the bangs
They didn’t give me power,
They didn’t give me pushes,
Love and gushes,
They gave me bitterness
And loneliness,
Without giving me a safe space.
They gave me wars
Without winning a battle,
They gave me sorrow
Without winning me a smile.
They gave me everything but me,
And everything but you.

Animal

I have a habit
where I love you so much,
I stare into your eyes
and they’re so deep,
and yet you never liked them,
and then I have another habit
of dreaming of you,
but loving me more,
and these two loves keep fighting each other,
and only one will win.

Wonderwall

Some time, all that will be left of me will be rain
and maybe wasted dreams,
wasted breaths,
but above all else
the smiles,
the tries,
the times it took for me to grow.
And some time, all that I am
will be enough,
and you’ll look at me and laugh,
because what else can you do
when I’m here with you?

Liquorice

More often than not I’m hurt,
suffering through broken toes,
biting my lips,
crippled spirit.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
is that my love tastes like liquorice
combined with nasty bile
and it smells like lilies in full bloom.
Is there something else you’d like to know?
Or is the thought of me enough
to poison you?

Dreams

Some dreams I dream them wide awake
Looking for smiles in the darkest corners,
Carrying your memory with me
Across the seas and mountains
I keep in my heart your kindness,
Laughter,
Love and care,
You were my best friend,
The only one who cared for me even when I didn’t deserve it.

resilience

you can bend me,
but not break me,
mold me into cups so i can fit,
soon i’ll be spilling my guts outside of it,
and you’ll be left with overflowing rage.
you can stretch me,
but not break me,
pull at my insides from one corner to another,
soon i’ll be covering the whole world with wonder,
and you’ll be stuck underneath.
you can compress me,
but not break me,
squeeze my skull into my other bones,
soon i’ll have a river of blood close,
and you’ll get to drown in it.
my name is resilience,
that’s why you can’t break me.
even if you kill me,
my spirit will take me
away from this earth and into the minds
of people willing to listen this time.

eternally

i’m just a tiny spec of soul,
forgotten in this rotten world,
i smell of lie and lies and i am whole,
with all my golden treasures and my heart purled,
i give you life and i give you trust,
and if you must,
i’ll give you me,
eternally.