Friend me on Facebook

Actually, no, don’t do that. I come from this magical place, where people are not up in each others’ butt, so maybe, just maybe, seeing that someone is friends with some other someone I barely know isn’t an open invitation to „add” them to my social network.

As I child/teen, I used to say that I don’t have a phone, just to skip that moment when people would call me. When I finally got a mobile phone (remember when they used to call them that?), I got the plan which allowed me to pay little to nothing on texts and it also gave the possibility to call people, if I ever needed to do such a wild thing.

I’m not big on socializing, and this has turned me into this weird, awkward being. Or maybe I was already broken and unsociable and the internet has done nothing to fight off this disease.

I don’t know what’s the cause or maybe if there’s a cure, but I live in constant fear of someone asking me to friend them on Facebook. I had to explain a few days ago why I don’t do the „Add friend” thing. I’m afraid, very afraid, that maybe I’m gonna be disrespectful, or maybe that I am disturbing something important, or maybe that I look to desperate.

Something in the lines of that.

See, now, I don’t hate people. But it’s actually really had to talk and approach someone you know, I find it incredibly difficult to stalk people on social media (another shitty thing I’m no good at).

Friend me maybe?

More Than A Troll…

In this day and age, everything seems more connected than ever. It’s so easy to find old colleagues, old flames or even family members, and it’s easy to track their habits and likes or dislikes using social sites.

This kind of behavior amplifies bullying to such an extent that most people are becoming aware of the future harm they could suffer after posting things online.

I don’t know if I should call those people paranoid or not, but I think they have a pretty good reason to do so.

After I read this article, I started thinking about all the stories of cyber-bullying (contrary to what the author says, I believe that this was bullying and not trolling – or maybe I don’t know the definitions too well), stories that I read only in a week’s time.

I live in a part of the world where bullying doesn’t take place the same as in USA. I used to be bullied, I guess, but only because my mom was divorced and kids used to laugh at me. That went away when I started high school, where everybody seemed to have their flaws.

In our high school, nobody used to get shoved in the trash can, nobody was slushied, nobody was laughed at for being too fat (well, maybe only behind their back, but fat kids still had friends), nobody was planning to destroy the school or take revenge on their peers. So, basically, everybody had at least one friend to lean on.

I don’t know if the young people in Romania are following the same pattern we did (I have finished high school about 8 years ago), but I am pretty sure that we can’t talk about bullying in an American way.

I am terrified at the horrors I read online, all those stories about kids killing their friends and teachers, because they were laughed at for being „unfit”. I am amazed at all the reasons people find to bully others, starting with their skin color, sexuality and body and finishing with their likes in music or films. I find it scary to live there, in the land of the free, where you have to be so „conform” just to barely live through high school. I find it tragic that kids are so cruel and have no will or desire to put themselves in their friends’ shoes and see how bad it feels to be hated for such little things.

I read the story of the girl that killed herself because she was bullied for being too pretty.

I read the story of a girl that killed herself because she was bullied for making a mistake once.

I read the story of a boy that killed himself because he was bullied for being gay.

I read the story of the girl that was nominated for Homecoming Queen as a joke from the popular kids (I am glad she won).

I read the story where a 17 year old bullies a grown man, with words like „I will piss on your wife’s face and you will see it”.

What the hell is wrong in this world? What can we do to teach kids that this is not the way? What moral compass should we force on them so that they stay clear from such dangers?

Everything is obsolete – the Bible doesn’t work, the internet is full of CP, behind of every computer, there may be a grown man waiting for young pray. How can we teach kids to defend themselves and how can we teach kids not to become bullies?

I know that maybe bullying looks like power, at a first glance. I am unsure of how a bully’s mind works, but I know for sure that the bullied person feels like crap whenever that happens. It makes you feel vulnerable, fearful, disappointed, scared, alone, like dying. I just wish we could find a way to end this.

Update: Anonymus is trying to find the man that drove Amanda Todd to kill herself. So there is justice in the world.

Happy birthday, people!

David Byrne – geniu muzical, din anul de grație 1952.

Tim Roth – actor, regizor, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Four Rooms, Rob Roy, Lie to Me. Din 1961.

Mark Zuckenberg – ne-a făcut Facebook-ul. Îl știm din 1984.

Post To Facebook

Zilele astea am redeschis FaceBook-ul cu gândul să încep promovarea blogului și în direcția aceasta. Ok, am făcut contul (mă găsiți aici) și am purces la căutat plugin-uri.
Aveam nevoie de ceva care să posteze automat pe FaceBook ce publicam pe blog, ceva care nu însemna să dau eu Share sau Like de pe blog, așa că am început să caut.
Pentru început, am aflat că era un feature al FB-ului, dar care nu mai merge acum, care făcea chestia asta simplu și lejer.
OK, moving on. Am căutat în WP tot felul de plugin-uri și am testat cam tot ce-am putut până n-am mai avut răbdare. Pentru o femeie, poate fi destul de dificil, sunt o mulțime de pași, pe care i-am respectat întocmai (zic eu), dar mereu mi-a dat eroare.

Ce n-a mers:
Post To Facebook – ce zic ei: provides the ability to quickly post a blog item to you facebook mini feed. Instalez, activez, dau click pe butonul de Post To Facebook – nothing happens. Uninstall.
Add Link To Facebook – incompatibil cu versiunea mea de WP (3.1.3). Next.
Facebook Page Publish – ce zic ei: „Facebook Page Publish” publishes your blog posts to the wall of your Facebook profile, page or application. Makes use of the modern Facebook graph-API and integrates easily into your WordPress Blog. All you need to do is (see Installation): Create a Facebook application. Am urmat toți pașii de la Installation, am creat the app, mi-a acceptat codurile, și când dădeam post, apărea un mare șir de erori. Ok, delete app, uninstall plugin, luat de la capăt. Am avut senzația că va merge. De vreo 4 ori, așa… Am lăsat-o baltă până la urmă.
Network Publisher – acesta teoretic te lăsa să publici pe mai multe rețele sociale. It was my last resort, dar n-am apelat la el. M-am gândit că, fiind făcut pentru 30 de rețele sociale, sigur are vreun bug pe undeva și n-aveam chef să mi se întâmple mie. Prefer ajutorul specializat.
Publier sur Facebook – în afară de faptul că e în franceză, nu a fost testat cu versiunea mea de WP (de o versiune mai nouă nici nu zic), de fapt e doar un alt buton de Share. Next. – automatically publishes a tweet to your Twitter account, a status update to your Facebook profile/fan page/group walls, a share on your LinkedIn profile/group, and an entry on your FriendFeed profile/group whenever you publish a new post in your WordPress website. Sună bine, nu? Așa am zis și eu. Dar mie una mi s-a părut prea greu de setat, iar faptul că-mi cereau bani pe el m-a făcut să renunț repede (You will need a API key to use the plugin. The subscription is 99 cents a month with a one month free trial.)
Wordbook – nu mai merge cu versiunile noi de WP, deși în 2009 uimea internetul.
FB Status Updater – requires Php4 or higher, Curl and Json libraries, habar n-am ce-s astea, așa că am renunțat repede și la ăsta.

Într-un final, am început să caut pe la bloggerii mari. Am căutat la zoso, nimic. Arhi, nimic. Mi-am adus aminte de Alexandru Negrea, avea niște discuții foarte interesante despre niște pluginuri utile de WP, dar ce căutam eu n-am găsit. Am zis că ori nu știu să caut, ori chiar nu a întâmpinat nimeni problemele mele.
Citind blogul lui nwradu, mi-am adus aminte de pagina lui de FB, unde am intrat, să văd cum îi ajung articolele de pe blog pe FB. Share și Like cu mânuța lui mi se părea imposibil. Mă uit la articolele apărute pe wall și văd acolo via RSS Graffiti.
L-am instalat instant, lucru care merge foarte repede. Așa că postul acesta e unul de test – să vedem dacă apare și pe blog, și pe FB. Wish me luck. Revin cu update.

UPDATE: the trick worked.