For long now, I have defined myself as un-feminist. I’m not sure right now that I still am what I preached, but it seems that we, as women, are breaking boundaries that are, at least in theory, politically correct. And for me, this has started with Jemima Kirke’s stance on abortion and such.
Here, in Romania, the abortion tidbit tends to get swept under a rug filled with shame and misogyny, and it has such a stigma on the person admitting the fault (and by fault, I mean abortion) that no one ever claims it. Not the mothers of the daughters that do it, not the women experiencing first hand. There isn’t even the classical game of „a friend of a friend” involved in this.
And it’s a bit sad, because abortion usually means control over one’s body, while political correctness means control over one’s opinion and choice of words. Or at least, that’s how I see it. Two forms of control, and I’m unsure which one is better, if at all. It’s sad that one is valued as a principle, yet used in the most unprincipled way, to hyper-avoid discrimination, when in fact, it’s just perpetuating anti-discrimination, while discriminating the anti-discriminator, as well as playing down already known traits of personality of a certain group or minority.
Abortion does not offer that luxury. The simple dropping of the A-bomb will, without a doubt, leave you friendless or family-less. Or they will at least judge you from the shadows, for the harlot that you are.
However, I can’t seem to help but feeling empowered by the raging estrogen in the media right now. With comediennes like Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, pushing further the simplicity of embracing femininity and diversity, and geniuses like Shonda Rhimes, feminists can rejoice. They can claim badassery without fear of it being translated into PMS or bitchiness, and with bold moves from Jemima Kirke and Chelsea Handler into admitting their own limits for choosing to have (or not) a baby at a certain point in their life, women can claim more liberties without being over the top misandrists that hate on men unequivocally.
Just as women chose to have babies outside marriages, or though modern means only (this means no sexy time involved, just sperm donated by great, generous men), is just as fair to let them decide whether to stay pregnant or terminate the pregnancy, whether to raise their baby themselves or give it for adoption. On one condition, of course – always assume your decisions! Always!
In a day and age where we feel more than inadequate because of what we look like, we find it even harder to support ourselves and others, we find it harder to embrace the truth and the life experiences that make us what we are, we jab at ourselves and at our sisters, competing for imaginary boyfriends that don’t want to settle – they just want to grope or throw a punch, if rejected. And those who want to settle, are stuck in some weird friendzone near the Giselle Bundchen of the group, because she’s aiming for someone better. And that, my friends, is a never ending spiral of shame, self-loathe and misery. Why add abortion, above all else, to feel guilty about?
It’s a man’s world, indeed, but it’s time we fight the world, and not the man. It’s time to chose as weapons the same freedoms they employ – control over one’s body and mind and principles.